Monday, January 05, 2015

2014 Review / 2015 Preview

Haven't done actual blogging in a while so just wanted to put down a few notes about last year and the new year. A bit of an informal review/preview.

(Started 2015 by hugging an ancient Sequoia after New Year's Day meditation retreat at Yoga Hillsboro.)

  • Jason and I started massage therapy school in spring of 2014 to become LMTs. We are currently more than halfway finished and hope to be licensed by end of 2015/early 2016.
  • I finally found my tribe at massage school. I've never felt more comfortable and "in the right place" in my life. I'm so glad Jason and I are doing this together - it would've been like falling down the rabbit hole without him.
  • Family has been challenging. Much change among them all, mostly not in happy ways.
  • Did get to spend a week with my niece and nephews this year and get to know them better. Little stinkers.
  • My parents retired and moved to Portland at the end of 2014. It was a few months of action getting them all settled in. I haven't lived within 600 miles of them in almost 20 years. It's weird but good to have them here. It's like meeting them again, but as an adult. Boundary discussions abound.
  • Work last year was harder, and easier, than it's ever been. After 8 years, I'm finally getting it. And they are finally getting me.
  • 2015 marks the beginning of our sixth year of trying to have a child. It hurts less each month when it doesn't happen, but still ...
  • Meditation is one of my favorite activities. So many energy-related modalities of bodywork require a meditative state and I'm really loving it. 20 minute sitting meditation - no problem!! I love to sit and meditate for hours in a group of like-minded people.
  • We took a "massage for people living with cancer" class and realized that I don't want to ever work in a clinical environment. The cancer rollercoaster is too much for me. I just want to hold the space when the ride is over and be there to help with the transition.
  • Focusing massage practices toward end of life care. Hospice. I realized that I will never be the LMT wailing on a client with "deep pressure". I believe in loving-care massage only.  I refuse to hurt anyone. Also, I've heard that people who want deep massage, have deep issues and I don't want to be a psychologist either.
  • I met my spirit animals while on a shamanic journey and I'll never be the same again.
  • Must do more hiking in 2015. I read Wild by Cheryl Strayed and saw it at the movies and it's the best story I've read in years. Makes me want to pack it all up and hit the trail. We're planning to build up so that one day we can hike at least the Oregon section of the Pacific Coast Trail.
  • Forever practicing patience, understanding and forgiveness. Really working on the idea of loving without liking. It's hard because there are some people in my life that I don't like (and they don't like me), but there's no getting out of it. We're bonded for life so we need to figure this thing out.
  • The furbabies (Crash and Derville) make me smile, yell, and love harder than anything else. It's not the same as having children, but at least they never tell me no or say they don't love me.
  • The blog has become mostly a music video library. Since we started school, I don't have time to write my deep thoughts here and it's never really been like that anyway so I don't really feel like a slacker or anything. Songs are just so much easier to use a measurement of my current feelings. I can go back to the songs later and know exactly how I was feeling or what was going on in my life. I don't want to blog about much these days, but I also don't want to give up 6 year record of my life, so I keep up with music. Listen to the songs, or don't. They're really just for me anyway.
  • Tori Amos is rocking my world right now. Her Unrepentant Geraldines album is like the sound of my soul humming. I wake up singing it. I'm convinced her voice is tuned to the heart chakra.
  • I found a love for all of the shamanistic ceremony instruments like Tibetan singing bowls, frame drums and rattles made of hoofs and nuts and bells. Sound has become a huge part of my experience these days. I even put a singing bowl on my head and rang it. It was like being inside a chapel bell. Absolutely profound.
  • Finally, if you think we were weird before, get ready for SUPER weird. The biggest difference now, is that I can OWN my weirdness and actually take comfort that it's necessary for what I want to do. Intuition and "witchy ways" are helpful tools in the bodywork toolkit and Jason and I have both. It used to be scary, but now it's comforting. Watch out - I'll read your mind and look inside your soul!
Well, that's a wrap!

Hope you have a great year, or that you can at least hold your shit together if it's not.

Just remember:

"As you rise, a rose you will forever be." ~ Tori Amos


Joan Stevens said...

Looks like you had such an experience in the year that has passed. It's nice that you started it with attending massage therapy school, and I hope that you are well on your way to getting your license. Anyway, I hope you continue to soar like that in this new year. Thanks for sharing that! I wish you all the best!

Joan Stevens @ Stringer Chiropractic

Joan Stevens said...
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