Friday, December 06, 2013

Cold Jokes


Temperatures are dropping.

The wind is blowing.

Snow is falling.

It's time to find humor in an uncontrollable situation.

Let the cold jokes begin:

It's colder than a witch's titty.

It's colder than a brass bra.

It's colder than a well digger's ass.

It's colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg.

It's colder than a penguin's pecker.

It's so cold that the local flasher was caught *describing* himself
to women.

It's so cold the "shrinkage" gave him a man-gina.

It's so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp-post.

It's so cold your false teeth chatter, and they are still in the glass.

It’s so cold the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.

It's so cold our words froze in midair and we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we hear what we were talking about.

It's so cold even the dog wanted a cup of coffee.

It's so cold when I put on my coat to take out the garbage it didn't want to go!

It's so cold the hookers downtown are charging 20 bucks just to blow on your hands.

It was so cold tea cozies were being used for things that tea cozies should never be used for.

And finally,

Q: What do you get from sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroids!

Thank you ladies and gentlemen, I'll be here all week!

Ba boom ching!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ohhh Shit!I am laughing so hard I have tears in me eyes ;-)