Friday, February 10, 2012

It won't be a party without Pooh

Three months and it still hurts. I've forgotten what you smell like. I can't remember what your voice inside my head sounds like. I don't expect barking when I make banging/knocking sounds. I pick up crumbs that fall on the floor because I know there isn't a little doggie waiting to snarf them up anymore.

My birthday is next week. Traditionally, I duck, hide and ignore it. Not because I'm afraid of getting older. But because it makes me so sad. I always feel so lonely on my birthday. I try to pretend it's just another day on the calendar. But this year it will be my first birthday without Clancy in over a decade. It won't be the same. It will be sadder.

All this looking back on my years with the Pooh, makes me realize how much it really was just the two of us for so long. When I think about it deeper, it was just me...and a dog. Just a girl and her dog.

We are so lucky Jason came into our life. It would have been a long road ahead if I was still just a girl but now without her dog.

It still won't be a party without Pooh.

P.S. There is another very important person that I'm missing today. Her birthday would've been yesterday. She would've been 64. Thirty years and 7 days older than me. Too young to be gone.We were definitely born under the same sign - Aquarius - water babies without a doubt.  I would have liked to tell her happy birthday and I love her. Momma D - we miss you. Hope you and Clancy are frolicking together in the ether.

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