Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Our Cat Plays Fetch!

It's the craziest thing! Jason says he's never seen a cat play fetch like this.

Derville is better at this than any dog I've seen. He is relentless. Never-ending.Unstoppable. Insatiable.

Here's how it goes when Derville plays fetch --






Drops it right at your feet and then face bump! (He's saying, "Throw my feather or I will eat you!!")

He loves that feather thing so much! It was on a thin cord attached to a stick. He was dragging the feather and stick around everywhere. Then, he decided to free his beloved feather from the stick -- by eating through the cord! Did he stop there? No! In effort to secure his feather's freedom, he slurped down the entire two foot cord like spaghetti! I took the stick away before he ate that too! Now, we just have a little nub of over-loved feather with a tiny bell that we can throw over and over and over and over.

Whoops, gotta go. He's back and just jumped up and bit me on the shoulder! (He's saying, "Enough computer, Lady! Throw my feather or I will eat you!!")

He's always threatening to eat someone! And I believe he would!

Monday, January 30, 2012

Gotye - Somebody that I used to know

This video is badass. Gotta let it get goin then the art is deeeeealicious!

Friday, January 27, 2012

Momentary Lapse of Reason


Last night...

 ------------

I'm walking into a movie theater. Mom in front, then me, and Dad behind. The seats are filling up fast and there are a lot of people in our group. (I should've known I was dreaming when I found myself at the movies with my mom and dad. I think Romancing the Stone was the last movie I saw with them in a theater. I was 6. I remember thinking it should've been rated X.)

Mom moves quickly down the aisle and then breaks left towards several vacant seats. Dad took a hard left upon entering the theater and was holding a group of seats toward the back. I was in the middle looking ahead and behind, deciding which way to go when the usher raised his arms in the air and yelled "Switch!" Everyone rose up at the same time, moved to a seat on the opposite side of the room from them, and sat back down. I froze. Didn't understand what was going on. Coming out of my stupor, I see my entire group seated together with no extra seats. I look around the giant room. Not one seat is open. I look at my group. They shrug shoulders indifferently and turn to face the screen.

Alone, I walk outside. It is snowing. There is a girl that I've seen before but don't know. She's been put out too. She's lays back - all covered with snow except her long red hair framing her face and giant emerald green eyes. She turns her head to look at me and then slowly closes her eyes. Nothing showing but a red flame frame around a porcelain doll face. Snow flakes on eyelashes.

--------------

I'm with a group of ladies. I don't know who they are but we are going shopping together. First we are going to eat at McDonald's. No one wants to ride with me in my piece of shit car. It's not the one I have now, but truly a beater-piece-of-shit car. One nice, older lady rides with me and the other nine women cram into a Lexus SUV. When we are leaving McDonald's, I ask who wants to ride with me and they all look away. I hear "I don't want to ride in that car." I tell them I have a different car -- a Lexus -- and somehow I do have a different car but still no one wants to ride with me. I watch as all ten women climb in the SUV together -- like sardines in fur coats. "We'll meet you there!" they say. No one looks at me as they drive off.

--------------

I'm sledding down a hill with another person. We are on our way somewhere but I'm not sure where. The other person keeps saying that they'd rather walk (even though it was very far to our destination). I keep sledding down the hill trying to find our way. I see the top of a hill, we fly over it, immediately drop off into a ravine with a huge river. I can't stop myself from falling and rolling into the water. Snakes and other debris are coming at me fast. The river bank is tall and steep. I reach for the other person's hand but they won't give it to me. I claw at the mud wall and pull myself up with the roots and vines sticking out. Now I'm walking behind a horse carrying the other person. We are going up an outside staircase -- like steps up the side of a mountain. I'm looking down at the horse's back feet as we move up the mountain. I think to myself, "If I look up right now, that horse's ass will be directly in my face."

--------------

Then I woke up.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

These Five Words I Swear To You

This song brings back so many memories. Oh how I love the heavy metal hair bands of the 80s and 90s. Nothing like a raging guitar solo to get a pre-teenage girl's motor running!

I think these guys' lyrics are almost as awesome as their hair!

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you



I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
Well as my broken heart lies bleeding
you say true love is suicide

You say you've cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore

Now I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance, girl

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you

I know you know we've had some good times
Now they have their own hiding place
Well I can promise you tomorrow
But I can't buy back yesterday

And Baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your valentine
I'll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you


And I wasn't there when you were happy
I wasn't there when you were down
I didn't mean to miss your birthday, baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

Monday, January 23, 2012

Portrait of a Ghost Drummer

Very cool. The last few seconds are my favorite -- you can really see the exertion coming to an end.


Portrait of the ghost drummer from odaibe on Vimeo.

In hopes of gaining some insight into the graphic and choreographic qualities of these movements, Poland-based graphic designer and artist Bartek Szlachcic pointed a motion-capturing camera towards himself while he played a drum solo. He then converted the trajectory of his arm movements into simple black lines set across a three-dimensional field, animating the arcs of each individual drum hit in real-time. (from http://www.thecreatorsproject.com/blog/drummers-gestures-beautifully-illustrated-in-portrait-of-the-ghost-drummer)

Friday, January 20, 2012

Grams


I was so fortunate today to speak to one of my most beloved family members -- my Grams. My mom's mom. She's about 20 in this photo. Now she's 94 and has been a bit under the weather recently. My grams and I have always had a special relationship. I'm the youngest grandchild. We've always had long discussions about love, life, death, politics, crafts, art, anything and everything. We talked for hours on the phone. She's been such a huge influence on my life and who I am today. I love her so much and hope she's back to her old feisty self soon.

Our conversation today was short, about 25 minutes, and filled with sentiments of love, reflection, and encouragement. The words that shined the most light on me was her reflection on life:

"It's absolutely worth it -- life is absolutely worth living. It's an incredible thing. You have your ups and downs but it's all worth it."

I feel like this is the most encouraging piece of wisdom I've ever heard. (I think the source has something to do with it.)

Also, I think I just realized where my dimples come from. Isn't she beautiful!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

For the prima ballerina who cannot dance to anything


I love the song "Heart With No Companion" by Leonard Cohen. I was listening to it this morning while doing my yoga practice and light meditation. It got me to thinking about paths and directions. Where am I going? What are my goals? How can I take all my talents and actualize them into something I love doing? I feel like he wrote this line just for me: "For the prima ballerina who cannot dance to anything."

It's so profound to me, especially in this season of my life. I feel like I'm destined for something -- like there is something out there that has been a part of me forever but hasn't worked itself out yet. Time will tell.



Now I greet you from the other side
Of sorrow and despair
With a love so vast and shattered
It will reach you everywhere

And I sing this for the captain
Whose ship has not been built
For the mother in confusion
Her cradle still unfilled

For the heart with no companion
For the soul without a king
For the prima ballerina
Who cannot dance to anything

Through the days of shame that are coming
Through the nights of wild distress
Tho' your promise count for nothing
You must keep it nonetheless

You must keep it for the captain
Whose ship has not been built
For the mother in confusion
Her cradle still unfilled

For the heart with no companion
For the soul without a king
For the prima ballerina
Who cannot dance to anything


And I greet you from the other side
Of sorrow and despair
With a love so vast and shattered
It will reach you everywhere

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Perseverance

It's been alternating snow and rain here for the last few days. It really amazes me how durable and adaptive plants can be. As you can see, the garden box has been nicely covered with snow.


In September, I started growing cauliflower, broccoli, and onion plants from seeds, started in Jiffy pots in the house. I moved them outside in October and they've been hanging out in the "elements" ever since. They don't look great and definitely won't produce any veggies but they are still alive! They are hanging on -- continuing to persevere despite the harsh external conditions.


 These two cauliflower plants (below) make me think of Jason and I. Two stragglers, hanging on despite hard times. Huddled up together in the not-so-great external conditions of the world but still growing and living and loving.
 
Dutifully carrying the metaphorical chunks of ice on our backs and hoping for warmer days and lighter loads to carry. But still growing, living, loving and persevering.


I read this quote on the Little Homestead in the City blog and it really stuck with me. Especially as I watch the conditions around me change and change again. I must remember to stay focused and push through -- no one else can do it for me.

"One of the biggest challenges in this or any age is to stick with the necessary changes we need to make and hold fast to the end. As important as beginnings are, the real test is in reaching the finish line, which requires perseverance for the long haul. Because we tend to turn things over to others—experts—we lose the opportunity to develop true self-sufficiency. Through growing our food, along with other homesteading practices, we gain invaluable experience and the true rewards of doing-it-yourself. Going forward, we have to be willing to get past the idea stage and individually sweat the details, adjusting to unforeseen difficulties, and, above all, never quitting." - Jules Dervaes

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Sunrise and moonset

I love the directional plane that our house is on because you can see the sunrise through the front window...


If there isn't a silly kitty blocking your view...


And conversely, you can see the sunset through the back windows...


 I was also able to catch this sweet moonset behind our house in the wee hours of the morning.


I love seeing the sunrise every morning but I really wish it would come a couple hours earlier. Darkness until 7am is starting to wear on me. Getting up when it's pitch black and then finishing up the work day in total darkness at 5pm really messes with my sense of time. I'll just be working away and then go to the front of the house and realize there isn't one light on and the house is totally dark.

I can't wait for first light by 6am and last light at 9:30pm -- because that means it's summer and the garden is growing -- my favorite time of the year!

Note to self: 
It's been two months without the Pooh and you're doing good. You're embracing the love that Derville gives (even though it's laced with razor claws and sharp little teeth). You still miss Clancy but you're not checking for him in the back yard or expecting him at the door when you come home any more. But you still miss the good doggie snuggin and lovin. It's like nothing else in the world. Sure, you want another dog to fill that hole. But you also know it's like any other long term relationship that ends -- you have relearn what your life is  without that relationship and accept that you can live without it and be okay before replacing it. You'll have another doggie, but for now you're a cat lady and Derville needs you, so love him good. Clancy would want you too.

Monday, January 09, 2012

Elderberry Saved My Life

Okay, that may be a bit dramatic but Elderberry Extract has helped significantly to clear up my cold/sinus infection/chest congestion symptoms. Before the Elderberry, I was having to sleep practically sitting up because I had so much congestion. I literally woke up gurgling a few times and thought I was going to choke on my snot and drown in my sleep. Since I started taking the Elderberry, I'm back to my normal stomach-sleeping and free-breathing nights. It is amazing!


I've heard Elderberry referenced in a million places as the best holistic cure for colds, coughs, sinus, etc. Here's a little more info about it from http://www.herbwisdom.com/herb-elderberry.html.

Elderberries have been a folk remedy for centuries in North America, Europe, Western Asia, and North Africa, hence the medicinal benefits of elderberries are being investigated and rediscovered. Elderberry is used for its antioxidant activity, to lower cholesterol, to improve vision, to boost the immune system, to improve heart health and for coughs, colds, flu, bacterial and viral infections and tonsilitis. Bioflavonoids and other proteins in the juice destroy the ability of cold and flu viruses to infect a cell. People with the flu who took elderberry juice reported less severe symptoms and felt better much faster than those who did not. Elderberry juice was used to treat a flu epidemic in Panama in 1995.

I cannot recommend Elderberry strongly enough! I like it because it doesn't taste bad (I add it to my tea or juice and don't even notice it) and because it doesn't make me have weird "medicine head." I'm really sensitive to medication so any type of cold medicine makes me pretty wacky. And any medication with a "D" attached to the end of it is the worst. D = dumb dumb in my world because that's what I turn into if I take it.

Side note: When I was researching Elderberry, I found The Elderberry School of Botanical Medicine which has an Herbalist Training Program. And it's in Portland! I'm going to add this to my "when I grow up, I wanna be..." list.

Friday, January 06, 2012

Colds

We've got two kinds of cold today:

The cold outside...


And the cold in my head and chest.

Both are thick, heavy and hazy and make for a "slipperier than snot" Friday.

Excuse me, my phlegm is calling...

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Hoping for a little more light this year

We started off the year with the first sunrise in weeks on New Year's Day.


We woke up to this beautiful rainbow sherbet sunrise today.


Hopefully, these cracks of sunshine are a sign that this year will let in a little more light than last.

And I'm sure we could all use a little more light in our lives.