Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Jack of all trades turned career woman

Yesterday was my FIVE year anniversary at my current job! Well, I guess it's actually a CAREER. I've never had one of those before. I've had tons of jobs, but this is my first bonafide career! I've learned and grown so much over these last five years.


I landed this job career the second week Jason and I moved to LA, which is unheard of! I literally pulled my suit out of the trash bag in which I had packed it and went to the interview. That was on a Wednesday. I got the offer two days later on Friday. Now that I've been with the company for so long, I realize that what happened to me was a total anomaly. It takes WEEKS for the offer paperwork to go through all the corporate red tape. Sometimes I still feel like they are going to realize I was a mistake and ask me to leave, but after five years I'm starting to get over it!

As I begin to think of myself as a career woman, I look back at ALL the jobs that led me to where I am now. It's quite astonishing and highly laughable. Before this career, I had never held a full-time job for a full 2 years -- 1.75 years was the record. I decided to make a list of all my jobs thus far. It's...well...a lot.

Work History:

  • Chores around the house -- since birth (well maybe not that long, but most of my life)
  • Bulletin board design and production -- ad hoc -- age 8 and up (helped my mother who was an elementary school teacher with classroom decorations)
  • Volunteer candy striper at the local hospital; worked in the OR/RR, Radiology, and as Greeter  -- summers -- ages 10-13 (got paid with cafeteria lunches and yes, I wore a red and white striped jumper)
  • Junior lifeguard at the public pool -- summers -- ages 14-15 (only paying job in town that would let you work before you turned 16)
  • Swim lesson instructor -- summers -- ages 14-15 (part of the lifeguard gig)
  • After-hours janitorial services -- evenings during school year -- ages 14 -15 (this job allowed me to get a hardship drivers license and have a car at 14)
  • Waitress at Western Sizzlin -- evenings during school year -- age 16 (got this job because I wrecked my new car and needed fast money to fix it -- paid the whole thing off with stacks of dollar bills and rolls of quarters)
  • Retail sales associate at Bealls Department Store -- after school and weekends during school year -- age 17 (learned the rules about poaching customers from coworkers the hard way)
  • Farmhand/summer help at University of Arkansas Agricultural Research and Extension Center -- summers -- ages 16-19 (my favorite job ever, but also the hardest/hottest)
  • Undergraduate college student at Auburn University -- PR major -- ages 18-21 (easiest job ever)
  • Lab assistant in nematode/soil testing lab at University of Arkansas Agricultural Research and Extension Center -- during all college holiday breaks -- ages 18-21 (most interesting job; should've been a scientist)
  • Copy center worker (aka copy bitch) at the Copy Cat Auburn University -- part-time year-round -- age 18-22 (this was a legacy job handed down from my brother)
  • International Press Office Assistant at Mulberry in London, England -- summer undergrad internship -- age 21 (time of my life!)
  • Graduate school student at Auburn University -- Concentration in Communication -- age 21-23 (second easiest job ever)
  • Graduate Teaching Assistant at Auburn University; taught college level Public Speaking -- during school year -- age 21-23 (funniest job ever)
  • Mobile golf course refreshment stand (aka beer bitch) at Grand National Golf Course -- summer -- age 22 (suckiest job ever -- old man golfers can be such perverts)
  • Office of Student Recruiting at Auburn University School of Pharmacy -- summer graduate internship -- age 23 (uneventful)
  • Freelance grant writer for University of Arkansas Community College in Hope -- one-time gig -- age 23 (this job allowed me to move to Northern California sight-unseen)
  • Door-to-door supplemental insurance salesperson Northern California -- didn't last long -- age 24 (most unethical job ever but now I have NO fear of cold-calling for anything)
  • Retail associate at Carl Johnson Company in Eureka California -- full time -- age 24-25 (weirdest job ever working in an old-timey mercantile; felt like Little House on the Prairie)
  • Sales manager at Omega Sports Store in Durham, NC -- full-time -- age 25 (best quitting story; ends with me calling the store manager a heartless bitch)
  • Interior Design Consultant/Showroom Manager at Hard Rock Marble and Tile in Hillsborough, NC -- full-time -- age 26 (most creative job ever and fueled my love for natural stone)
  • Sales associate at a marina supplies distributor in Irving, TX -- full-time -- age 27 (most frightening job ever; quit this one after the boss/owner physically and verbally assaulted me -- yes, this type of shit still happens in modern-day workplaces)
  • Human Resource Consultant; print and web production specialist for multi-billion dollar, industry leading corporation -- full-time plus some -- age 28-33
So here I am and that's my story -- so far!

Can't wait to see where the next 33 years lands me!

Note: I just added internships and I'm sure I will continue to add more things as they come back to me. There are a few jobs that I just wiped from my memory.

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