Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Self-destiny

I'm still re-reading Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins and, just like every time I read it, there are passages that just scream out to me.

Here's the most recent one bouncing around in my head:

"The price of self-destiny is never cheap, and in certain situations it is unthinkable. But to achieve the marvelous, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought."


I've always been able to dream the unthinkable and then go for it without doubt or self-judgment. But over the last few years, this has become harder and harder. I can still dream (oh, and do I dream!) but the self-actualizing part of it has become more difficult. I don't have the make-it-happen-come-hell-or-high-water confidence that I used to.

I think it comes from so many years of desperately seeking approval and instead, receiving (what I perceived to be) validations of unworthiness.

But I'm slowly learning that the approval of others doesn't matter.

There is no right, there is no wrong.

It's life and life only.

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